"Let go, Let God"

It is so easy it times of turmoil and uncertainty to pray a little more, talk to God a little more, and maybe try to trust a little more that everything will work out for the best. When Mark and I started our job search, we had only the parameters of the United States. Due the the economy, we knew we had to do whatever it took, even if it meant moving for a job. After much talking and discussing, it seemed that we had talked ourselves into the dream job of Mark being a traveling consultant traveling almost 100% of the time. We convinced ourselves that we could make this work by living in St. Louis close to my family and having a non-reality schedule to ensure we would see all of our family members equally. We managed to make it okay that Mark would have limited time with our future kids, and that I could be home by myself for X amount of days during the week, and that together we would just make it work. Life was planned out that we believed we would get this "dream job". Knowing we couldn't put all of our eggs in one basket, we still kept up our nation-wide search, applying everywhere from Newport Beach to east-coast Boston with some back-up to the back-up plans in the mix. Indianapolis was one of those back-ups. He did the phone interview and it went well. Once we were in the States for Christmas, he flew out to have an in-person interview. That went very well. However, we still kept it on the back burner not really thinking anything of it. Then the job in Indianapolis called. It was official! We were offered a job in Indy. That same day we found out that we didn't get the job that we REALLY wanted! What a blow! We deserved it! We wanted it! Yet, in the end, we didn't get it. We were so very bummed that we were willing to tell Indianapolis no because we felt as if we were settling. We entertained the idea by negotiating salary- ok not bad. We entertained the idea by looking at houses- wow I like that one and the price isn't bad either. We entertained the idea by looking at the cost to move- doable. We entertained the idea by asking others what they thought of the city- Absolutely love it? OK! No matter how much we wanted to kick Indy under the rug, Indy kept popping it's head up from under the covers.

Many people refer to the "Let go, Let God!" way of thinking. I am a believer and believe it is true! God is in control! But, where is my place in the mix. Do I just stay in bed all day depressed waiting for God to deliver? Do I not weigh the options and the pros and cons of my choices and just let God hand it to me on a silver platter?

The scene in the movie BRUCE ALMIGHTY comes to mind in which Bruce is driving his car and is following a utility truck that displays several warning road signs- YIELD, STOP, DANGER! Bruce fails to acknowledge the signs and ends up swerving off the road. To me, "Let go, Let God" is the perfect reference to praying for God's signs to be displayed in my life, for me to recognize those signs, and for me to use those signs as I journey through life's choices. Letting go of my plans and dreams that I convince myself to be perfect, and embracing the plans and dreams provided by God that are perfect for me.

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day" - Barbara De Angelis

The Do-Verb of a Marriage

Last night, I was talking with Mark about the disguise in a blessing from the ever so popular quote of "It's a Blessing in Disguise". Mark said that it is truly based on perceived outcome in the fix-it form. It requires an action to unveil the disguise and to truly see the blessing underneath the current state of negativity. I'll admit, when Mark first told me that he was being laid off, sheer terror of the unknown took over. Once the emotions came and went, we both agreed that we were determined to find the right in all of this. I stayed home from my volunteer job that next day and found 65 jobs on Monster.com for him to apply for based on the parameters we had discussed. Mark stayed up until midnight applying for the ones which he was suited for. We talked, we planned, and we changed plans based on the changing of circumstances. It was the first time in a long time where we allowed things to change and where we looked at both the big picture and finite details in our decision making. We made an assessment of our current finances, made a bucket list of what we wanted to see and do for the last three weeks of being in the UK, and then made those two coincide. We allowed ourselves to be blatantly honest with one another on what we wanted and what we didn't want in our jobs, homes, and lives. Every action unraveled the layers of the disguise a little bit more. From my eight hours on Monster.com, I was able to better understand more of what my husband's job entails- what he knows and what he does. We communicated futuristic ideals in a fiercly, blatantly honest style revealing a lot of unsaid things that needed to be said. It may be a blessing in disguise, but it takes action in the do-verb style to make the disguise a blessing.

“ We’re all familiar with a blessing in disguise. What is less commonly appreciated is the disguise in many a blessing." - Mardy Grothe

Blessings

What constitutes a blessing? What is the difference from a blessing verses a disguised blessing? According to Webster, a blessing is something conducive to happiness. When we were told that Mark was being laid off, his contract was not being renewed due to budget cuts, and we’d be moving back to the States, countless people told me that this was “a blessing in disguise”. So many people told me this, after I would explain our current situation, that it became as customary as saying “bless you” after someone sneezes. It lost all meaning. For those of you that know me well, it was on the same lines as someone giving me a “pat-pat” hug rather than a whole-hearted, genuine squeeze. So it got me wondering. What makes up the disguise?